My lovely girl,
You are 16 months old when I write this. You still sort of look like a giant baby because your hair is taking forever to grow but its starting to get there. Currently you are sporting a strange mullet that only you could pull off.
You arent quite walking alone yet but you can crawl like lightening and walk round holding onto furniture or with your kitchen walker that you love to ram into my ankles or the radiator.
You have just started sleeping through the night which I am eternally grateful for! You are starting to try and say some words like 'cat' 'daddy' 'teddy' and your favourite which is 'gone'.
You scrunch up your nose when you smile and you enjoy showing me just how loud your voice can be. You are affectionate and love to cuddle but you are also fiercely independent. You do things in your own time and the way you want to, you will not be helped and the look on your satisfied face when you do something you want is brilliant.
You are such a strong willed little girl, you are my daughter and I am so proud of you. I've told you before you are called my impossible girl and every day with you is a blessing.
I think about your future and what it will be like. Will you have boyfriends? Girlfriends? What will be your favourite subjects at school? What will you want to be when you grow up? Will you get married and have children of your own one day?
I feel its important to tell you something now because sometimes as parents we think we are always clear but sometimes what we feel must be obvious isn't.
No matter what me and your dad love you more then you could imagine. We are so proud of you because of who you are, we have no preconceived life plan for you, we are excited to watch you make your own future and to be a part of it with you.
Your health both physical and mental is so important. Take care of it. Value it for it is priceless. Please don't ever be afraid to talk to me about your health. There is nothing too big, scary or intangible that I cannot support you with. Your mother has lots of experience with mental health both personal and professional and I will tell you the most important thing I have learned; never be ashamed. Be proud of who you are. The way medicine can help heal the body talking can help heal your mind. I will always be here to listen.
Don't ever let any man, woman or God tell you that you are not good enough or that you cannot do something. This my dear is bull. There may be those who have certain expectations of you, or those who try and place limitations on you because you're a girl....do not accept this. Men and women are equal. Men and women have different qualities it is true but these differences should be celebrated for what they are not used against one another.
I hope one day you will find love, whether with a man or a woman all I hope is you have happiness. I hope you find someone who loves you for everything you are and who becomes your best friend.
Should you choose to have children in the future know this; being a mum is tough but it is wonderful also. I have found motherhood tough so far but my dear it has also been the most extraordinary journey of my life. You have inspired me to change myself and my life for the better, you have taught me in so many ways how important it is so soldier on and that surrender is never an option.
So the final part of this letter is a thank you.
Thank you for being my daughter.
Thank you for giving me the best gift ever, the gift of being a mum.