Saturday, 7 May 2016

When 3 became 4..

Being able to write this means so much to me.
There are so many emotions attached to it, happiness, excitement, pride and a little bit of fear.

I vividly remember sitting at home on New Years Eve reading everyone's New Years resolutions and their reflections on how great 2015 had been and feeling like I had somehow missed out on a great year.
I remember wondering what my recovery would look like and imagining myself at 9 months pregnant looking in the mirror saying 'bring it on birth' and meaning it.

It fills me with such happiness to say that I am pregnant.

12 weeks, due November 2016


And I am so damn excited and happy and proud of myself that I have got to this point.

It has not been easy and I am so grateful for the amazing support of my wonderful husband, family and friends I could not have gotten here without it.

I'd be lieing if I said I wasn't a teeny a bit terrified of what the birth will be like and how I will cope but alongside that terror is genuine excitement and hope that this time will be different.

For anyone wondering how I could be happy to be pregnant or why I would want to get pregnant after what I described as the worst experience of my life I'll tell you.
Just because you are scared to death of something doesn't mean you won't or shouldnt want it, or that you shouldn't try and get it. It takes courage, planning and perseverance but you can still go for it anyway.

The last thing I wanted was for an awful experience to rob me of having another child and being a mum again. Being a mum is something that years ago I never ever thought I wanted but now is something I couldn't imagine not being.

So here's to 2016 and a year of growing humans, happiness and families.

Alice practising her skills

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