I made a promise to myself that instead of remembering 2015 as a terrible year of loss it would be remembered as the year I put my health first and made changes for the better. I knew one part of this recovery would be me looking in the mirror 9 months pregnant saying 'bring it on birth's and meaning it.
A year later and here I am sat sipping prosecco and cuddling a little baby, my second baby. I faced what was my biggest fear for a long time and overcame it spectacularly.
It's been a year of therapy, medication and support but it has all been worth it.
Sophie's birth was such a positive and liberating experience and it left me feeling healed from the previous trauma of Alice's birth.
I can't say it's a complete 'happily ever after'. I still have tough days with my mood but not feeling ashamed of how I feel has made this experience so much easier to live with me.
It is a wonderful feeling to be going into 2017 hopeful, happy and healthy when just one year ago I couldn't imagine ever feeling happy again.
So goodbye to a year of accomplishments and hello to a year of peace, happiness and sleep deprivation.
Happy new year :)